Why have you forsaken me?

I have seen and endured more suffering in the past month then I care to partake in. It is definitely hard to be a Christian during these times. How could God permit such suffering?

While on my mission trip in Romania I spent many nights in the shower with tears streaming down my face... Where did we go so wrong? The first few days I was there I suffered immensely. We were surrounded 24/7 with suffering. I saw the handicapped men we served and felt so hopeless. They lived in a world where their life, their stories didn't matter. Born into a society where they were not accepted. Yet every morning they woke up with the brightest smiles. They begged Father Doug to bless them, to anoint them with oil, holy water, sweat, tears (they would've accepted anything!!) They sang so loud and confident during mass. It seemed as if nothing mattered but Christ. And I cried because how did I seem to have everything, yet nothing at the same time.

I lived in what seemed like a perfect world up until then. I am surrounded by people who love me, listen to my dreams and aspirations, I've never wondered where my next meal was coming from, I live in a safe home. I watched women and children on the streets of Bucharest physically climb out of what was left of abandoned slabs of concrete. Just for one meal... one day where they will not feel pain and worry about where they will sleep that night or eat. They ran to us and rejoiced, consumed by joy and love, and we didn't even speak the same language!! Most of them weren't even Catholic!! How many days and nights have I refrained from running to God because of "inconveniences", disapointments, doubts.

This Easter I am reminded of the greatest suffering, Jesus dying for US! St. Paul once said, "I will rejoice in my suffering for your sake!" I never ever ever ever ever thought I would willingly REJOICE in suffering. It is within our suffering that God invites us to more. To carry our cross. To rejoice in the greatest suffering of all. To remember that no amount of suffering here on Earth can even compare to what is to come...

One day we will rejoice at the table of plenty. One day I will see those men, women and children we served and see them restored, fulfilled and fully alive!

Remember that the kingdom belongs to the least of these...

-B